Aside from all that, the academy, who are, to the best of my knowledge, six 90 year white old men locked in a room at Motel 6 fighting over who gets the last cantaloupe, is notoriously hesitant to nod in the direction of popular movies that make hella money. And that goes triple for horror movies. Robert England as Freddy Kruger ate a demon pizza where the pepperonis where the tiny heads of tortured souls-- were you not ENTERTAINED? And what about Toni Collette in Hereditary as a bereaved woman going slowly mad as she mourns the death of her estranged mother and then scampers across the ceiling to murder her own son, no love for that? And pls don't get me started on Dan O'Herlihy as Coral Cochran, the sinister Irish mask-maker who torments Tom Atkins with robots and Stonehenge in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. The fact that his "Halloween" speech didn't make all actors in all corners of the world pack their shit and just become carnies in 1982 is heresy and nothing but! But, no, the Academy steers safely toward the big moment "I never learned to read!" movies that deal with illness and disability portrayed by actors who are neither ill nor disabled, and shit about Queen Elizabeth and alcoholic fathers. And, like, until my kids write a screenplay about their alcoholic mother, I'm so over that. And even then, it's just because I want to borrow money from them.
So, you might ask, after asking me to please stop rifling through your garbage after chili night, what would it take to make the Oscars not boring and actually maybe briefly exciting and cool? Well, I'm glad you asked, but first of all is this chili garbage for everyone or just family? Ok, my bad. So, anyways, Bill Skarsgard needs to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his role as Pennywise the Dancing Clown in It Chapter 2.
So, instead of simply collecting comical bags of money with big dollar signs on them for being handsome, Bill Skarsgard shook a fist and bellowed, "NAY!" to the mighty Zeus and his Minotaur dad and decided to take the role as the evil clown Pennywise in It chapters 1 and 2, directed by Andy Muschietti, which entails a lot of running around terrifying children and drooling, two things that are v hard to pull off when you are that good looking, believe me, I know. (I also want to state for the record that Bill and the rest of his good looking family have a lil doohickey over the last 'A' in their surname but I can't do it because I'm a million. You're fucking lucky I'm not trying to type this shit on a Light Brite tied to a fax machine.)
Which is not to say that the It movies are perfect because they aren't-- they turned hero Stuttering Bill's wife into a real asshole and that whole thing with librarian/historian Mike and the Indigenous ppl is a M E S S-- but they are also really cool and well directed and a lot of fun, and most of what makes Bill Skarsgard's Pennywise so scary (and neat!) is not CGI or even practical effects, but the fact that he's able to contort himself into this hellish nightmare vision using only his face and eyes and body. Like, here he is terrifying Bill Hader with that thing he does where he makes his eyes wall-eyed like the eyes of a Boston Terrier begging for the last snausage.
So, take to the streets, friends! Trend on that one bird site, and post on whoszit-book and tag ppl on Instrapics or whatever it is you kids do, and demand a nomination for this talented young man! You can even do it while sitting on the toilet! Or, so I've heard. (just don't forget to wash your hands.)