"King Ralph looked great on paper." "What about Blues Brothers 2000?" "Go to hell."
I mean, there's a lot to say about a movie that seems to demand, "DO YOU WANNA DIE BY ALIENS OR LIVE UNDERGROUND FOREVER PLAYING SORRY! WITH JOHN GOODMAN?" but I'm still not sure how to go about it. Maybe if he were nicer, and couldn't get his hands on any steak and cheese subs? Because do any of us want to be locked in the room pictured above with John Goodman just lighting it up? Oh, and he also has a gun.
Early in the film we meet Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead,) a troubled young woman fleeing a fight with her fiancee. After a car accident she wakes in Howard's (Goodman) Underground Bunker, which seems to be protecting all inhabitants from radiation or the government or Russia or aliens, and in this day and age most of us would wake to that news and be like, "lol, what's for lunch?" but this is 2016 and Michelle is still concerned with Howard's vague details and erratic moods. He tells her that his wife has abandoned him (shit, I wonder fucking WHY?) and shows Michelle a picture of his young daughter, whom he says "is no longer with us." Also joining them underground is kindly townie Emmett, who broke his arm trying to beat the door to get *in* to play board games and eat spaghetti with John Goodman. So, I mean, yes, we're assuming that whatever is outside is unpleasant.
Early in the film we meet Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead,) a troubled young woman fleeing a fight with her fiancee. After a car accident she wakes in Howard's (Goodman) Underground Bunker, which seems to be protecting all inhabitants from radiation or the government or Russia or aliens, and in this day and age most of us would wake to that news and be like, "lol, what's for lunch?" but this is 2016 and Michelle is still concerned with Howard's vague details and erratic moods. He tells her that his wife has abandoned him (shit, I wonder fucking WHY?) and shows Michelle a picture of his young daughter, whom he says "is no longer with us." Also joining them underground is kindly townie Emmett, who broke his arm trying to beat the door to get *in* to play board games and eat spaghetti with John Goodman. So, I mean, yes, we're assuming that whatever is outside is unpleasant.
"If I catch you cheating at Connect Four, I WILL END YOU."
Michelle and Emmett, placated by Howard's tales of a bleak nuclear winter, get comfortable enough in the bunker, making fluffer-nutters and doing jigsaw puzzles and dancing to the hits of the '50s and '60s on Howard's old jukebox. Scary shit, right? It's only when Michelle climbs though an air-duct to fix a broken filter that she finds "help me" scratched into the glass of a locked escape hatch with a bloody earring that she begins to suspect that Howard is not the innocent, lumbering and angry gentleman he appears to be. To make things worse, Emmett tells her that the picture of Howard's "daughter" is actually a picture of a girl who went missing years ago and was never found.
The two are busy making Hazmat Suits out of a duck shower curtain when Howard confronts them with a vat of acid. Emmett, playing the brave older brother, tells Howard that it was all his idea to steal the gun and Michelle knew nothing, so Howard shoots him and shoves his body in the acid. Then of course Howard just leaves the vat of acid open for Michelle to knock over onto him because why not? and then the acid eats though the cord of a lamp and starts a fire. She collects her duck suit and escapes, even though acid-faced Howard is chasing her and trying to stab her. She manages to get out before the bunker explodes and the air is just fine, take that, John Goodman. Unfortunately, then some alien garbage happens.
The two are busy making Hazmat Suits out of a duck shower curtain when Howard confronts them with a vat of acid. Emmett, playing the brave older brother, tells Howard that it was all his idea to steal the gun and Michelle knew nothing, so Howard shoots him and shoves his body in the acid. Then of course Howard just leaves the vat of acid open for Michelle to knock over onto him because why not? and then the acid eats though the cord of a lamp and starts a fire. She collects her duck suit and escapes, even though acid-faced Howard is chasing her and trying to stab her. She manages to get out before the bunker explodes and the air is just fine, take that, John Goodman. Unfortunately, then some alien garbage happens.
I'm guessing this is where the budget went but whatever.
Ugh, I didn't hate this movie and I didn't love it, but I also didn't dislike it or like it, which feels like an issue. The acting and writing are good, it's not too long, it's very well shot. But, like....I didn't feel there was any far reaching message or even emotion other that to state that you can't really run from conflict. The alien ending, which only lasts about 10 minutes, is unwelcome, as we leave the film feeling that escaping John Goodman was the real battle. I guess there's some value in a movie that didn't enrage me, but then again, in the future, if 10 Cloverfield Lane is on TV and I've lost the remote, 10/10 would get up and attempt to find the remote, and that's faint praise.
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