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12 Days of Halloween: Day 2, Creepshow: An Epilogue

10/30/2017

 
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What we've mostly learned in the past five days here, other than I have too much time on my hands, Is that, in the Creepshow universe, if you're a dick, you're getting your comeuppance. If you'll remember, in the prologue to the segments, Tom Adkins played a shitty porn loving dad who wants to keep his son, Billy (Joe Hill!) from reading horror comics so he doesn't grow up as a loser, aka writer, lol. I mean I added that last part but it's pretty obvious. Anyway, ofc he sent his son to his room, where the boy summons a laughing decorative skeleton from the 50% off section of Spirit Superstore.
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"ALL SALES FINAL!"
So, the Creepshow Comic is picked up by two garbage men, one of them being legendary makeup artist Tom Savini, who exclaim excitedly over this delightful trash-find. See, Tom Adkins? Your son Billy could grow up to be a garbage man- that's steady fucking work, you elitist ass. They fawn over the stuff they can buy in the back ads, like X-ray specs and diet pills and whatever. Herbal Viagra, that was around then, right? Sadly, SOMEONE has already sent away for the REAL LIFE VOODOO DOLL. Lol, Tom Adkins, pack your shit.
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Back in the house, Tom Adkins is complaining about his bad back- shocker. Then he leaps from his dad farting arm chair in agony, and we cut to little Billy murdering his father gleefully, what fun!
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That's it, that's the end, Tom Adkins either dies there or is continuously physically assaulted by his son when he least expects it, there's no way of knowing, although I feel most of us would agree that the former is a better deal. Billy really has the potential to make his dad's life miserable - he can like drop his dad's pants in the middle of a big meeting, or drop his pants in the middle of church, or many many other pants dropping opportunities.  Not to mention all the wang stabbing that could happen. When you really think about it, death was the kindest thing imaginable for Tom Adkins. Lol, I hope Billy kept that fucker alive for *years.*

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    Author

    I'm Nadine Darling, author of SHE CAME FROM BEYOND!  (Overlook Press) I write. I like to drink and watch movies! I've been published places and won awards and shit but wouldn't you rather hear what I have to say about BACKDRAFT???

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