So, ok....I guess Michael Buble put up this photo on his Instagram (while eating at an effing Friendly's, or something,) with the caption:
"There was something about this photo Lu took that seemed worthy of Instagram. #myhumps #babygotback #hungryshorts #beautifulbum."
Lu, one would assume, is Buble's wife and the mother of his son, actress Luisana Lopilato, who, for the record, looks like this:
Anyway, I guess these two lovebirds were waiting for their food at Chipotle, or wherever, and they noticed a young woman with a big ass at the cashier. Hilarious, am I right? THAT'S WHERE HER DOODY COMES FROM AND IT CAN BE USED FOR SEX AND STUFF. Mr. Buble and his wife then assumed that it would be a good idea to photograph this woman from the back without her consent as Buble himself stood in the foreground, arms crossed, smirking at the camera. Ok, I don't need to mention that this is the funniest thing that has ever happened. You understand that intrinsically because we are all human and connected by the basic, fragile element of humor. So, sorry, Louis C.K. Pack your shit, Wanda Sykes. Haunt somewhere else, George Carlin, because there's a new grand ruler of comedy in town, and his name is Mr. Michael Buble.
Ok, That was bullshit. I'm done discussing Buble and his intentions, because when he decided to post the above image (of he and the girl at The Sizzler, not the one of his hot wife) to the world his intentions became irrelevant, and what I have to say to him has been said better, for all of eternity, by Ice Cube in the movie Friday:
Ok, That was bullshit. I'm done discussing Buble and his intentions, because when he decided to post the above image (of he and the girl at The Sizzler, not the one of his hot wife) to the world his intentions became irrelevant, and what I have to say to him has been said better, for all of eternity, by Ice Cube in the movie Friday:
So, we'll leave it at that.
The interesting thing, to me, was the response. I glanced at the comments- WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER DO EVER unless you want to a.) start drinking, b.) take a Silkwood shower, or, c.) volunteer to man an experimental rocket-ship headed straight for the sun. But I did, fine. And what I found was that, to many people, the issue was not bad behavior, but feminism. One guy, whom I assume was a guy, but it doesn't even matter, wrote something like, oh, not everything is so offensive, this is why I will never support modern feminism.
Hmm. OK, let's come back to that; first let's unpack the original image:
The interesting thing, to me, was the response. I glanced at the comments- WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER DO EVER unless you want to a.) start drinking, b.) take a Silkwood shower, or, c.) volunteer to man an experimental rocket-ship headed straight for the sun. But I did, fine. And what I found was that, to many people, the issue was not bad behavior, but feminism. One guy, whom I assume was a guy, but it doesn't even matter, wrote something like, oh, not everything is so offensive, this is why I will never support modern feminism.
Hmm. OK, let's come back to that; first let's unpack the original image:
Is this sexist? I think that's a grey area. Would he have posted this picture and posed this way if a young man with a big ass were at the counter? Maybe. There was that situation a few weeks ago in which an obese gentleman was filmed and mocked widely while dancing frenetically, and the Internets came roaring to his defense and threw him a big party, or something (I don't know, I'm not the Huffington Post, Google it.) The fact that it is a woman and Buble is hetrosexual man, in that pose, making that face, makes it feel more sexist to me personally, combined with the hashtags beautifulbum, babygotback, etc. It is not difficult for me, as a woman who developed early (like, 11) to see myself in that young woman at the counter, quietly minding my own business, being mocked and judged by attractive, popular people. Perhaps the recent onslaught of celebrities such as Nikki Minaj and Iggy Azalea singing the praises of their own posteriors suggests that every woman is so willing to submit to such public consumption. That is not a dig- these are grown women who've made a choice concerning the way they'd like to be seen by and marketed to the public. They are not standing passively at the counter of an Arby's.
To further explain the photo above, I'll use a word that I've found to be massively disliked and misunderstood, especially on the Internet, triggering. It triggers pain in me, and in other people, from past experiences- to which one might say, well, how is that my problem? Which is a lot like Chief Marco Pierre White making fellow Chef Gordon Ramsey cry and then saying, "I didn't make him cry. He chose to cry." You don't have to understand why or how a thing is triggering to know that it is triggering. You can listen to a person, you can believe them, and you can do so without countering with other, unrelated situations in which you yourself felt wronged, and found a way to "get over it." It doesn't have to be a game of Who's Suffered the Most. People can be kind to other people. There's time for every story to be heard, hopefully not as a weapon to negate the experiences of others.
Other responses to the above photo, from both men and woman, include, She wore that; She chose to leave the house with her ass hanging out so she can't get mad if people look, and, It was a compliment; she should feel flattered. Well. I mean...yes, she wore the outfit, and yes, people look at a lot of things. I don't think looking is really the issue, at this point. Is it really so acceptable to take pictures of unsuspecting people with intent to mock them on a global scale just because we have the technology to do so? And, if you can swing with assuming that a woman dressed a certain way for a specific kind of attention, where does that end? She dressed that way because she wanted men to look at her body. She likes men looking at her body. She wanted me to look at her body. She likes me. Did you see that, how small a journey that was? I did. Maybe the young woman at the counter did want attention, or maybe she just got up and put on a pair of shorts. It's not really our place to speculate.
By the way, how old is that girl, I wonder. 17? 23? 37? Is a child being mocked? Is a child being concurrently mocked and sexualized by a famous millionaire? It's interesting that Buble would make it a point to mention his wife took the picture in question, as though such a detail makes this whole thing less....everything. But, again, his intention is not the issue. If the young woman standing at the counter contacted the media and explained that it was all in good fun and that she was not offended by the situation, that would also not be the issue. At this point the image has been metabolized differently by everyone and has become metaphorical.
Which brings me back to this comment: I will never support modern feminism. Well, good, because it doesn't exist. Coincidentally, I will never support Big Foot. Unless I was in the can when a cyborg Gloria Steinem descended on her jet-pack to explain the new tenets of feminism, which included not finding menstruation jokes funny and giving guys a hard time when they want to look at strippers, feminism remains exactly what it has always been: "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." So, look, basically it's like this: if you disagree with anything that I've said here, or that any woman such as myself has ever said, now and forever, online or IRL, about triggers or sexism, etc., you don't necessarily disagree with FEMINISM, you might just disagree about one thing with one FEMINIST.
Easy, right? We can probably be buddies, right? Sure, we can. By the way, this was Buble's response to the controversy:
To further explain the photo above, I'll use a word that I've found to be massively disliked and misunderstood, especially on the Internet, triggering. It triggers pain in me, and in other people, from past experiences- to which one might say, well, how is that my problem? Which is a lot like Chief Marco Pierre White making fellow Chef Gordon Ramsey cry and then saying, "I didn't make him cry. He chose to cry." You don't have to understand why or how a thing is triggering to know that it is triggering. You can listen to a person, you can believe them, and you can do so without countering with other, unrelated situations in which you yourself felt wronged, and found a way to "get over it." It doesn't have to be a game of Who's Suffered the Most. People can be kind to other people. There's time for every story to be heard, hopefully not as a weapon to negate the experiences of others.
Other responses to the above photo, from both men and woman, include, She wore that; She chose to leave the house with her ass hanging out so she can't get mad if people look, and, It was a compliment; she should feel flattered. Well. I mean...yes, she wore the outfit, and yes, people look at a lot of things. I don't think looking is really the issue, at this point. Is it really so acceptable to take pictures of unsuspecting people with intent to mock them on a global scale just because we have the technology to do so? And, if you can swing with assuming that a woman dressed a certain way for a specific kind of attention, where does that end? She dressed that way because she wanted men to look at her body. She likes men looking at her body. She wanted me to look at her body. She likes me. Did you see that, how small a journey that was? I did. Maybe the young woman at the counter did want attention, or maybe she just got up and put on a pair of shorts. It's not really our place to speculate.
By the way, how old is that girl, I wonder. 17? 23? 37? Is a child being mocked? Is a child being concurrently mocked and sexualized by a famous millionaire? It's interesting that Buble would make it a point to mention his wife took the picture in question, as though such a detail makes this whole thing less....everything. But, again, his intention is not the issue. If the young woman standing at the counter contacted the media and explained that it was all in good fun and that she was not offended by the situation, that would also not be the issue. At this point the image has been metabolized differently by everyone and has become metaphorical.
Which brings me back to this comment: I will never support modern feminism. Well, good, because it doesn't exist. Coincidentally, I will never support Big Foot. Unless I was in the can when a cyborg Gloria Steinem descended on her jet-pack to explain the new tenets of feminism, which included not finding menstruation jokes funny and giving guys a hard time when they want to look at strippers, feminism remains exactly what it has always been: "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." So, look, basically it's like this: if you disagree with anything that I've said here, or that any woman such as myself has ever said, now and forever, online or IRL, about triggers or sexism, etc., you don't necessarily disagree with FEMINISM, you might just disagree about one thing with one FEMINIST.
Easy, right? We can probably be buddies, right? Sure, we can. By the way, this was Buble's response to the controversy:
"Anybody who knows me would never misinterpret the message of the photo my wife took in Miami that seems to have caused unexpected rage by some people. I do not court controversy. But I realize that a photo that was meant to be complimentary and lighthearted has turned into a questionable issue. For the record, It hurts me deeply that anyone would think that I would disrespect women or be insulting to any human being.. I was not brought up that way and it is not in my character. I regret that there are people out there who found the photo offensive. That was not and is not my intention. Women are to be celebrated, loved, respected, honored and revered. I’ve spent my life believing that and will continue to do so."
Well, there you go everyone! Nothing to see here. Also, in case you weren't listening, his wife really took that photo. He very much regrets that any of us found it offensive, which, as you know, is the hallmark of a true apology: being sorry that someone wrong took the funny thing you did in the wrong way. It was a long few hours, you guys, but, finally, I think we can all find peace, and walk away from this situation as better, more loving people. Hope you enjoyed your lunch at Checkers, Michael!
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