"Can we work like one more really horrible joke in here? For the fans?"
Yeah, it's been a hell of a week for Hollywood. In some good ways, such as the heroic journey of Bruce Jenner, and some not so good ways, such as the news from the set of the Adam Sandler film, The Ridiculous Six, currently shooting in New Mexico. The production hired several native american actors and a cultural adviser from the Navajo Nation, the latter because they wanted to the film to have a measure of accuracy. See, by the time I got that far in the story, my eyes had rolled halfway back to Ohio. Adam Sandler has been making shitty comedies since I was still in high school, and to give you some idea of how long ago that actually was, the theme to my prom was WHOMP! THERE IT IS! Most of Sandler's films center around his character being an idiot and people reacting to that with disappointment, much in the way people reacted to The Three Stooges when they made the transition from mild-mannered business men to kooky, squawking lunatics (and, oh, Jesus, that's the entire premise for the Michael Douglass film Falling Down.) Yes, Sandler went on to some artistic success with director Paul Thomas Anderson in Punch Drunk Love, but keep in mind P.T.A. does so well with a lot of diverse (read: bad) actors because he makes them go against their first instincts. For instance, if the character in Punch Drunk Love was buying a lot of pudding because a certain loophole in the products' promotion allowed him to accumulate a staggering amount of frequent flyer miles, enabling him to travel the world with the woman he loves, Adam Sandler's first instinct as an actor might be to bare his buttocks and dunk them into a vat of the pudding, as though to determine its flavor. This is what makes alternate methods so attractive.
Anyway, eventually, the Native Americans hired to culturally police the set of The Ridiculous Six became irritated and offended by the material and a great number of them left, much like the audience of any Adam Sandler film released after Happy Madison. The Native American actors and the adviser took umbrage as certain aspects of the Sandler-penned script, such as female characters named "Beaver Breath" and "No Bra," a woman portrayed urinating while smoking a peace pipe and inappropriately positioned feathers on a tee pee (I'm guessing in the shape of a penis, or whatever. Don't ask me why.) In addition to all of this, producers seemed to not know or care about the difference between the different tribes, and, when approached with all of this, suggested that if the Native Americans were so sensitive, they should just leave.
So, ok, the producers of this film asked for advisers from the Navajo Nation so they wouldn't get shit wrong and then they got mad when the advisers told them that they got shit wrong. Awesome. That's like the makers of Spongebob Squarepants inviting marine biologists to the set and then going ape-shit when someone suggests that crabs might not father sperm whales and covet bags of money. Who the hell goes to an Adam Sandler movie for accuracy? The most valuable lesson to be learned from this movie in particular is in finance: if a film is slated for a big screen summer release in 2014 and now it's getting made for a Netflix only release at an undetermined time, some one, at some point, dropped the goddamned ball. The notable thing happened later, when Netflix released a statement concerning this whole debaucle:
Anyway, eventually, the Native Americans hired to culturally police the set of The Ridiculous Six became irritated and offended by the material and a great number of them left, much like the audience of any Adam Sandler film released after Happy Madison. The Native American actors and the adviser took umbrage as certain aspects of the Sandler-penned script, such as female characters named "Beaver Breath" and "No Bra," a woman portrayed urinating while smoking a peace pipe and inappropriately positioned feathers on a tee pee (I'm guessing in the shape of a penis, or whatever. Don't ask me why.) In addition to all of this, producers seemed to not know or care about the difference between the different tribes, and, when approached with all of this, suggested that if the Native Americans were so sensitive, they should just leave.
So, ok, the producers of this film asked for advisers from the Navajo Nation so they wouldn't get shit wrong and then they got mad when the advisers told them that they got shit wrong. Awesome. That's like the makers of Spongebob Squarepants inviting marine biologists to the set and then going ape-shit when someone suggests that crabs might not father sperm whales and covet bags of money. Who the hell goes to an Adam Sandler movie for accuracy? The most valuable lesson to be learned from this movie in particular is in finance: if a film is slated for a big screen summer release in 2014 and now it's getting made for a Netflix only release at an undetermined time, some one, at some point, dropped the goddamned ball. The notable thing happened later, when Netflix released a statement concerning this whole debaucle:
"The movie has ridiculous in the title for a reason: because it is ridiculous. It is a broad satire of Western movies and the stereotypes they popularized, featuring a diverse cast that is not only part of – but in on – the joke."
Well, no, actually, several members of the diverse cast came forward with deep cultural and emotional concerns, and the producers of the film suggested they smoke-em some cock and not let the sweat-lodge door hit them in the ass when they left, but whatever. There's not even half an apology in that statement; it's just random, tired words put together by a person who was probably wearing underwear constructed from Hulu's tears and black Amex cards when they wrote it. He or she might as well have responded with a statement that was just a block of text cut and pasted A Weekend at Bernie's 2's Wikipedia and then REST IN PEACE ROBERT URICH again and again until they ran out of room.
That same day, Avengers 2: Age of Ultron actors Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans, interviewed in support of the film, were questioned (by a woman) about female character Black Widow and how she seemed to work alongside different male avengers in different Marvel films. Renner responded by calling Black Widow "a whore," "a slut," and, "a trick." Evans laughed uproariously at this, clapped, and agreed that she was "a complete whole." Renner ended this cavalcade of class by dismissively reminding everyone that Black Widow has a fake leg. So, one last slap in the ass to you, disabled people. Don't rest too easy, ok?
That same day, Avengers 2: Age of Ultron actors Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans, interviewed in support of the film, were questioned (by a woman) about female character Black Widow and how she seemed to work alongside different male avengers in different Marvel films. Renner responded by calling Black Widow "a whore," "a slut," and, "a trick." Evans laughed uproariously at this, clapped, and agreed that she was "a complete whole." Renner ended this cavalcade of class by dismissively reminding everyone that Black Widow has a fake leg. So, one last slap in the ass to you, disabled people. Don't rest too easy, ok?
"LOL WE'RE THE WORST!"
Evans' PR person reacted quickly with a short, acceptable apology. Renner, on the other hand, farted out a statement that reeked of back-washed Kahlua and cigars lit with hundred dollar bills:
“I am sorry that this tasteless joke about a fictional character offended anyone. It was not meant to be serious in any way. Just poking fun during an exhausting and tedious press tour.”
Man, and I just thought he was being an asshole. I'll have to learn not to judge people by their words and actions from now on. And this half-assed explanation about being tired is 100% in my book, because it's not like he's out at all hours partying and drinking. I mean, what a homebody- have you seen the awesome Holly Hobby needlepoint he sells on Etsy? And, tedious, sure. He's staying at Days Inn during the junket, right? In that room right next to the ice machine? And I've heard Robert Downey Jr. is up to all hours of the night kicking the soda machine, trying to dislodge that one last Mr. Pibb that's caught. HE CAN SEE IT THROUGH THE GLASS, IT'S RIGHT THERE. How it possesses him! What.....no? They're all on Disney's Dime....staying in the finest....best of everything....oh, ok. I must've been thinking of every other person on the planet who isn't playing an Avenger.
The real star here is the Un-pology, the thing people give you when they know they have to say something and they resent the hell out of it. It generally begins with something like "I'm sorry such and such offended you..." which can be easily translated as, "Sorry you're such a sad-ass who wants to ruin our fun," or, in the case of Netflix, can just be a corporation shruggingly trying to convince us all, in the absence of any true evidence, that an Adam Sandler movie is a comedy. In both cases, the guilty parties get away with it because we're going to consume their products regardless of what they say or do. What, are you going to cancel Netflix? I'm not. There are like five kids in my house who would hunt me for sport if I even threatened to change the wi-fi password- and I am not a fast runner, you guys. Everybody is going to see Avengers 2. Yes, so they can bitch and moan about how it's inferior to the first one and how badly it did whatever to their childhoods, but they're still going to see it, more than once in many cases, so what can any of us really say?
Well, I can say, tinged with hypocrisy, that it sucks to hire people to help you and then insult them so personally, and I can say that it sucks for millions of kids around the world to see Hawkeye and Captain America call the woman who fights alongside them a whore, a trick and a slut. For those of us who were old enough to be offended by the latter, the price is not much- maybe irritation and the presence of a few self-important, long-winded blogs (ahem,) but to the child, the teen, the young person who reads comic books and sees these movies as a means of nurturing some sadness, some feeling of isolation, this lesson is a powerful one.
The real star here is the Un-pology, the thing people give you when they know they have to say something and they resent the hell out of it. It generally begins with something like "I'm sorry such and such offended you..." which can be easily translated as, "Sorry you're such a sad-ass who wants to ruin our fun," or, in the case of Netflix, can just be a corporation shruggingly trying to convince us all, in the absence of any true evidence, that an Adam Sandler movie is a comedy. In both cases, the guilty parties get away with it because we're going to consume their products regardless of what they say or do. What, are you going to cancel Netflix? I'm not. There are like five kids in my house who would hunt me for sport if I even threatened to change the wi-fi password- and I am not a fast runner, you guys. Everybody is going to see Avengers 2. Yes, so they can bitch and moan about how it's inferior to the first one and how badly it did whatever to their childhoods, but they're still going to see it, more than once in many cases, so what can any of us really say?
Well, I can say, tinged with hypocrisy, that it sucks to hire people to help you and then insult them so personally, and I can say that it sucks for millions of kids around the world to see Hawkeye and Captain America call the woman who fights alongside them a whore, a trick and a slut. For those of us who were old enough to be offended by the latter, the price is not much- maybe irritation and the presence of a few self-important, long-winded blogs (ahem,) but to the child, the teen, the young person who reads comic books and sees these movies as a means of nurturing some sadness, some feeling of isolation, this lesson is a powerful one.
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